a) Match the funny job definitions with the names of the jobs. A banker is ... A diplomat is ... An economist is ... A mathematician is ... A philosopher is ... A programmer is ... A psychologist is ... A schoolteacher is ... A sociologist is ... A professor is ... A modern artist is ... - a fellow who lends you his umbrella when the sun is shining and wants it back the minute it begins to rain. - someone who can tell you to go to hell in such a way that you will look forward to the trip. - an expert who will know tomorrow why the things he predicted yesterday didnt happen today. - a blind man in a dark room looking for a black cat which isnt there. - one who throws paint on canvas, wipes it off with a cloth and sells the cloth. - a person who doesnt have a job but at least understands why. - one who talks in someone elses sleep. - someone who solves a problem you didnt know you had in a way you dont understand. a man whom you pay a lot of money to ask you questions that your wife asks free of charge. - a disillusioned woman who used to think she liked children. someone who, when a beautiful women enters the room and everybody look at her, looks at everybody

a)      A banker is  someone who can tell you to go to hell in such a way that you will look forward to the trip.  

b)      A diplomat is a fellow who lends you his umbrella when the sun is shining and wants it back the minute it begins to rain

c)        An economist is an expert who will know tomorrow why the things he predicted yesterday didnt happen today

d)      A mathematician is someone who solves a problem you didnt know you had in a way you dont understand.

e)       A philosopher is a blind man in a dark room looking for a black cat which isnt there.

f)       A programmer is one who talks in someone elses sleep.

g)       A psychologist is a man whom you pay a lot of money to ask you questions that your wife asks free of charge.

h)      A schoolteacher is a disillusioned woman who used to think she liked children.

i)        A sociologist is a person who doesnt have a job but at least understands why.  

j)        A professor is  someone who, when a beautiful women enters the room and everybody look at her, looks at everybody

k)      A modern artist is  – one who throws paint on canvas, wipes it off with a cloth and sells the cloth.

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